By now you’ve seen the video of the skydiver who hit the ground at about 80 mph after both of his parachutes failed. If you haven’t, just go to digg.com and look for it. As of right now it’s on the second page of links.
It got me thinking…what would go through my head if that happened to me?
(4,000 feet) “Wooooooooo-hoooooooo! This is cool, man! They had to pry that plane from my fingers to get me out of the door, but I’m sure glad they did! Time to pull the ripcord…
(3,000 feet) #@!&%$!!! Aww crap, first the chute screwed up, and now I’m spinning like a spider in a flushing toilet! I think I’m gonna — *BWLAARRRRRRPHHHHHH* Yo! Man! Sorry about the vomit patch up there, you might wanna steer to your left!
(2,500 ft) SON OF A B!^@#!! Now the main is caught in my reserve! I’m spinning even faster!! I think I’m gonna dry heave!! WHOA! Was that my life or a vulture that just went flying past my face?!
(2,250 feet) Our Father, who art in Heaven…
(2,000 feet) I sure hope I hit something hard, because if I’m still alive when they find me, these underwear are gonna embarrass the hell out of me.
(1,000 feet, three more evacuations later) Water or trees? What’s gonna hurt the least? Come on, stupid, is it really going to matter a half-second afterward?
(500 feet) I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!
(250 feet) Tell my family I love them!
(50 feet) Awww, man, blackberry bushes! They have sharp thorns! Not that it mat–*THUD*
(0 feet) Yup, those were blackberry bushes.
Other Ramblings…
- A fifth person has now claimed that he may be the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter. The part that freaks me out isn’t that she had sex with that many people — we all know she was promiscuous — but the fact that she had sex with that many people in a three-week period. I’m beginning to think all the little spermies got together just outside the egg and said, “alright, if we’re gonna do this, we’re goin’ in together!” That would make this fiasco entertaining — if a paternity test said that, in fact, they were all the father.
- We finally got a decent snow here. We got about 2-3 inches so far, which is pretty good considering it was pushing 70 the week of Christmas. It’s still lame, though, considering that central Pennsylvania — two hours from here — is supposed to have 8-12 inches by tomorrow morning.
That is all.
