Andrew Riley is what you would consider a career criminal. He has more felony charges against him than the populations of some entire minimum-security prisons. The charges range from burglary and vandalism to intimidation. It all comes from a crime spree that spanned at least a year. His mug shot shows a face that expresses no remorse, and that is only augmented by the buzz cut and the hard chin.

Andrew Riley is 13 years old.

I really haven’t come to grips with the depth of all this. For a 13-year-old to commit a felony, let alone 128 of them, is basically unheardof in the world in which I reside. Maybe it was my old-fashioned, country upbringing. Maybe it was a result of being raised in a time when getting your butt whipped was the rule, not a crime in and of itself. Or maybe, just maybe, Andrew’s parents are really that worthless.

His stepfather said he had a rough childhood. There was no further elaboration. Did it mean he was abused? Raised in a poor home? Were his only friends cockroaches and mice? What, exactly, constitutes a rough childhood? And why is that an excuse? I grew up with virtually nothing. We were dirt poor. Her Hotness grew up in a nearly identical environment. But beyond the typical teenage mischief — tick-tacking, sneaking out once or twice, trying a beer before we graduated high school — we both have clean records. While we could have chosen to steal what we didn’t have, take out our frustrations on other people’s faces, or run amok in school, we didn’t. We didn’t, because our parents took the time to teach us right from wrong. And not only did they teach it, they enforced it.

Andrew will likely be in juvie until he’s 18. At that point, if authorities have been able to rehabilitate him and teach him what his parents obviously never tried to, he might be released into the world to try and make a life for himself. Or he may already be beyond rehability (Mike’s Made-Up Word of the Weekâ„¢), and will spend his life either constantly behind bars or in and out of the prison system because no one knows what to do with him.

All because mom and dad probably never spanked the kid.

Now for the lighter side: The Week In Denial:

Spring sprung early
For those of you who are champing at the bit to celebrate the first day of spring, you’re already too late.

We were all taught as children that spring starts on March 21st, the day of the Vernal Equinox. Well, a year isn’t exactly 365.25 days long, and the Earth’s orbit around the Sun isn’t even close to a true circle. That has resulted in one very important thing: spring rarely begins on the traditional first day of spring. In fact, we East-Coasters started the new season at 7:33 Tuesday morning (3/20). Never blindly believe what you hear in school.

…And Nessie was navigating.
If you’re caught driving drunk, take a lesson from this guy: make sure your alibi is at least plausible. Never tell the officer that a unicorn was driving your car.

And finally…

At least they showed respect for the dead
Those seat upgrades have never been cheap, but this is the first case of someone having to die to get a spot in First Class. British Airways announced that a passenger expired on a flight from India to the U.K., and the passenger was moved from the Economy class to an empty seat in First Class. Unfortunately for the lad in the seat next to her final Earthly destination, he was asleep when the whole thing was going down. Word has it that he tried to lodge a complaint about the situation after the flight. The rumored response from the airline?

“Bugger off.”

Post Script: Free Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee today!
Just a friendly reminder to drop by every DnD you pass today for a free 16-ounce café-on-ice. Free all day long, March 21st.

Post-Post Script: March of Dimes Walk
Her Hotness and I are participating in a March of Dimes walk on April 29th. Your support would be greatly appreciated. To make a pledge, just go to http://www.walkamerica.org/mpfrazer. If you are interested in walking, you can join the team. Please, support the efforts of the March of Dimes to save premature babies.