Last night I shared with God the most amazing prayer I've ever been a party to.  I won't go into the details, because that's between me and the Lord, but I will say this: no matter how awful this who situation may seem, to me or anyone else, it is, without a single doubt, the greatest moment of my life.  As I just shared with Mom of the South, I may have lost the one I love unconditionally, but found the one who loves me unconditionally.

Home is no longer a lonely place for me after Kaylee goes to bed.  I have actually found comfort in the serenity of the darkness.  There's a peace that cannot be understated and it has helped me learn that we can see God clearest in the darkest moments of our life.  There's such a definite connection between the physical darkness of the night that, until 48 hours ago, used to be gut wrenching, and the spiritual darkness that we live in when we are unwilling to repent and to be redeemed by the Grace of God.

I have moved beyond this and, while I still wish I could spend the rest of my days with Brittney by my side, I have accepted the hand I have been dealt. In closing, I'd like to share the words of a song I had always loved but had forgotten about until last night:

All the chisels I have dulled Carving idols of stone
That have crumbled like sand 'neath the waves
I've recklessly built all my dreams in the sand
Just to watch them all wash away

Through another day, another trial
Another chance to reconcile
To The One who sees past all I see
And reaching out my weary hand
I pray that You'd understand
You're the only one who's faithful to me

All the pennies I've wasted in my wishing wells I've thrown
Like stones to the sea
I've cast my lots, dropped my guard, searched aimlessly
For a faith to be faithful to me

Through another day, another trial
Another chance to reconcile
To The One who sees past all I see
And reaching out my weary hand
I pray that You'd understand
You're the only one who's faithful to me

– Faithful to Me, Jennifer Knapp (Kansas, 1998)