I was having trouble coming up with a good topic for the first weekly installment of The Journey. Then, I spent about 30 minutes on the phone with one of my favorite people, and as I passed along some advice on life, I thought about something my mom once said to me: you can't be happy with anything else until you're happy with you.
The problem most of us face isn't the desire to be happy. Few people, aside from the unlucky minority who have just totally given up, could ever honestly say that they don't want to be happy. The hard part is finding out how. And, the longer you search in vain, the harder it becomes to find the path to your happiness.
Having been through years of depression, and having found my way out of it by no means other than my own overwhelming desire to laugh until I cried again — to live this life, rather than just move from one work day to the next — I feel like I'm at least remotely qualified to say this.
We all think, because of this world we live in today where everything is available instantly, that there is some magical way to find happiness. Maybe there is, but don't count on it. The big-ticket item probably isn't going to give you an ounce of long-term happiness. A vacation, a new house, a new car, having a child…they may bring you happiness now, but they aren't going to fix you. You're treating the symptom rather than the disease..
Okay, so I haven't mentioned God up to this point, and The Journey is all about my spiritual journey. So here goes. God's timing almost always means one thing: the big fix is going to take a long, long time. God wants us to find happiness in Him, but he also wants us to learn from what valleys we walk through. Chances are good that he's not going to put a Big, Red Button™ in front of us. Instead, we're going to have to take baby steps. He'll reveal a piece of the puzzle here, and another one there, and at the same time he'll make us look back at all the pieces we've already put together to remember where we are. In the end, it's just foolishness to expect the home run from God when we need to find a way to make a major change in ourselves — in this case, being content with who we are.
Which brings this whole thing around, full circle. When we're looking for instant happiness, that's something we can buy. But the moment — the glory — is fleeting. It's the lessons learned through struggle that will stick with us and continue to bring us happiness for the rest of our lives. And, to stick with the analogy, no one remembers the home run forever. They just happen way too often to be worth remembering. But, when you're down by one run in the bottom of the ninth, you have a runner on third, and the pitcher is stepping up to the plate, everyone will remember the little tap down the first-base line that gave just enough time for the runner to make it home.
Much in the same way, keep this in mind when it comes to learning how to be happy with who you are: legends aren't made with dime-a-dozen home runs. Your best choice isn't always swinging for the upper deck. Sometimes you've got to bunt.
