I've always loved the Olympics, because it's always fun being able to watch your country kick the snot out of another one without having to pick up a gun.
The Men's 4×100 Freestyle Relay (swimming) had belonged to the United States for considerably longer than I have been alive until the 2000 Olympic Games in Sydney, Australia. We also lost in 2004. Coming into these games, the French team was favored, and their athletes didn't take that position lightly, saying they were going to "smash" (their words, not mine) the U.S. team.
In the words of Bob Costas, "au contraire, mon amie."
The captain of the French team would have had plenty of reason to celebrate — he was part of the team that held the previous record, and their 2008 Olympic team broke it Monday morning in Beijing by nearly four seconds. Unfortunately for him and his teammates, history doesn't care about second place when it comes to records. What will be remembered from these games, much to the chagrin of our arrogant "allies" across the pond, is the fact that the United States came from behind in the final 25 meters of the event to take the gold in 3:08.24, just .08 ahead of the French.
All that got "smashed" was a record previously held by the Parisian team.
As a former swimmer (one season, but it counts, dadgummit) and a participant in several of these relays, I can attest to how difficult the event is. The problem isn't normally the swim itself, but rather your dive for your leg of the relay. Races can be won and lost by how well someone comes off the blocks (in my case, I didn't "dive" so much as I "smacked"). Monday, though, it was pure guts, as Jason Lezak came from half a body length behind at the final turn to win by about a knuckle, and turned in a leg of just 46.06 seconds — nearly .6 faster than the next best in the entire race, and a swim that ranks as one of the best single legs in 4×100 relay history. This single event could be the national rallying point to unite two sides of a horribly policially-divided nation, even if just for two weeks.
And, since Bob Costas can turn a French quote around and smash it in their faces like a cream pie, I am going to do the same: Hey, you Frenchies — your mothers were hamsters, and your fathers smelt of elderberries!
