As Christians we are taught to love and to accept — within reason, of course.  The point of "within reason" is to emphasize the fact that there are times when we are not to accept someone as they are.  In fact, that happens a lot more often than we may realize.  And if you're a naturally caring person like me, sometimes you lose sight of the difference between acceptable and unacceptable.

Acceptance and tolerance, as a Christian, are two things that should be handled with care.  Regardless of what you have been taught, the simple fact is that we are not to be tolerant of sinful behavior.  We are to recognize and deny it in our lives.

We need to be diligent in our efforts to identify those who seek to drag us down — and that can be difficult at times.  The strongest weapon Satan has against us is deception, and this is where the caring, trusting people are at a huge disadvantage: we seek to help all, and to be compassionate to all, and as such we let ourselves get close to the wrong people.

Paul listed a handful of the types of people who would deceive and destroy us in 2 Timothy 3:2-7 as he says, "People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God — having a form of godliness but denying its power.  Have nothing to do with them.  They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning, but never able to acknowledge the truth."

God's instruction through Paul was in reference to the end times.  While we never know when those times will be, the one thing we know for sure is that these same things have happened all throughout history.  These are the works of Satan and his charges, who only desire to steal, kill and destroy.

Your best protection is to simply follow Paul's advice and have nothing to do with them.  But Satan is the great deceiver, and is good at what he does.  It's often difficult to see the difference between sincerity and deception.  Your only defense is to pray, and pray regularly.  Pray for God to protect you from deception, to keep you on the path he has set before you, and above all pray that God will open your eyes so you can see the deceivers for who they are.

When I wake up tomorrow
And I look to the sky
I'll see you, I'll see you
If the sun shines or it's raining
If it's warm or if it's cold
I'll see you, I'll see you

And when the night falls all around
And I lay in my bed
When the memories of my day
Are bouncing in my head
I'll remember it was you
Who made everything I see
I'll remember it was you
Who made me…

You're in everything I see, I touch
I hear, I smell, I breathe
You're in everything that gathers
Around me
You made the stars above me
The moon, the winds, the seas
You're the beating of my heart
The life in me

©2007 Mike Frazer

I'm a control freak.

It's not that I desire power, or that I have to be a leader to be happy.  It's simply that life, on the surface, is much like trying to regain control of a car that is traveling at 100 miles per hour through a narrow canyon, with no brakes.  Oh, and the steering wheel just fell into your lap.  So, I desire to regain that control.  The problem is, the only possible way out of that situation is to hand the wheel to God and pray that you be saved.  You simply aren't going to stop that car any other way.

But still I've tried.  And the one thing that every attempt has had in common is complete and utter failure. All attempts to control your own destiny are in vain. 

So what, then, does this have to do with free will?

Yes, we are free to make our own choices.  The Bible tells us so.  It also tells us that God knew every hair on our heads long before we were ever born.  The concept of free will in Christianity is tricky, because we are given the ability to make choices, but through his omnipotence God has known and understood every decision we will make, and he has always know them.   And those decisions are far simpler for us than we ever let ourselves believe.  Brace yourself, because this is going to come as a shock to your system: the only decision we ever have to make for each situation we face is whether or not to leave it in God's hands.  It really is that simple.

Let's face it: we will never, ever be able to truly control another person, let alone an entire population.  The hardest part to accept about free will and about giving our problems to God is accepting that the world does not revolve around each one of us individually.  You are merely one of more than six billion cogs in a very large machine — and you, with your incredibly narrow view of the world, can never begin to understand how even a seemingly benign decision that shouldn't have any effect on anyone else can have a domino effect down the line.  You live in the here-and-now, and what you can accept in your world is limited to what your senses can comprehend.  Don't feel bad, you're far from alone in that mindset.  You have billions of brothers and sisters in the same boat.

So how does one go about "giving it to God"?   Easy: pray for it.  Prayer is, as a Christian, your best friend, your strongest weapon, and your greatest comfort.  It is a direct communication between you and your maker.  Pray that God will take your burdens.  Sounds easy, right?

Wrong.

The hard part isn't giving your problems to God.  The real struggle is not trying to take back the wheel.  We stumble because God doesn't always handle things the way that feels the best to us.  Sometimes you have to lose something to gain something else.  And while that something else may not be what you want, it will most definitely be what you need at the time.

Case in point: I've been dealing with two sources of anxiety in my life.  The first was a job search.  I found a listing that seemed to be a great fit, scheduled an interview, and asked God for the strength, wisdom and confidence I needed to make a good impression.  The interview went great, and I didn't try to contact them again until I felt it being impressed upon my heart to make a follow-up contact.  I kept my nose out of God's work, and I will be starting my new job on October 22.

On the other hand, I was dealing with another issue that has been a point of contention for me for a while now.  My impatience got the best of me, and I screwed things up big-time because I wasn't going where God was leading me.  And every step I took only got me deeper into the mud.  See, problems like these compound themselves: once you've screwed up, every attempt you make at fixing it on your own stands a very good chance of resulting in a situation that is far more twisted than that from which you were trying to escape to begin with.  Much like quicksand, the harder you struggle the worse off you'll end up.

The bottom line is this: you have to do nothing more than make a simple, binary decision when faced with adversity: give it to God, or go it alone.  The good news is that we all know the right choice; the bad news is that we usually fail to believe it.

I leave you with the following:

And so I stand here
Looking at all that I have made
Fallen in ruin
And it would seem that

It's out of my hands
There's nothing I can do
The best laid plans
Again have fallen through
I though my world
Was under my command
Now I can't believe
It's out of my hands

My favorite delusion
I must control the universe
Failure brings freedom
You are God, and I'm not so…

It's out of my hands
There's nothing I can do
The best laid plans
Again have fallen through
I thought my world
Was under my command
Now I can't believe
Just how glad I am
It's out of my hands

And so I stand here
Looking at all that you have made
Learning to place my life
In your keeping

It's out of my hands
I know this much is true
The best laid plans
All belong to you
When I know my world
Is under your command
I can't believe
Just how glad I am
It's out of my hands

- Out of My Hands (Carolyn Arends)

When I started this journey, there were two tragic events transpiring in my family.  While my personal tragedy is only being resolved by separation, the other one has now been resolved in the absolute best way it could have been.  While I don't wish to share with the world what has been going on elsewhere in my family — it's a matter best left private — I am happy to announce that we are, once again, a whole family.  The other on?  Well, life just has a new kind of "normal" now.  I'm happy again, and I'm moving on with life.

And, thanks to a handful of very, very special people, that happiness I'm now feeling is bordering on giddy.  The last 10 days, particularly, have lifted me to heights I can't recall seeing, on a spiritual level.  And a "new" friendship has been the proverbial icing on the cake.  You know who you are, and that's all that matters to me.

Oh, and I was at the NASCAR race in Dover again yesterday.  No rainout this time, just a little sunburn and a whole lot of fun.  It's back home to NC tomorrow, and back to the grind.  And I'm glad to see that "normal" has become a fun adventure again.

All people — Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, atheists — have a tendency to try to get by on their own.  That’s okay, it’s a normal way to handle things.  Most of us try to be self-reliant either out of necessity or the euphoria of knowing we can do it (whatever “it” may be) by ourselves.  The problem we tend to run into is failing to recognize when we need help.  Sometimes we realize it too late, and sometimes we never do at all.

For some of us, it’s pride.  For others, it’s because we’re shy.  And some people are just too stubborn for their own good.  But even if you aren’t comfortable asking someone for assistance, or you just won’t, remember that God has your back.

This is the true power of prayer: God will not let his children fail.  The prayers of the righteous will be answered.  That’s the most beautiful part of the promise we’ve been given from the Lord!  Does that mean that your walk will always be easy? The answer is an emphatic NO! You will stumble, you will fall, and you will have your fair share of struggles.  But God will not let you slip beyond your limits.

Case in point: Sunday night, I was despairing.  I was overwhelmed by the weight of my responsibilities, combined with the pain from the issues I’ve been dealing with.  I truly felt like I had reached my limit.  I prayed.  I prayed for strength, and I prayed for relief.  I prayed that the weight of that despair would be lifted, even if only slightly.  I prayed that God would light the way before me, so to speak.  By Monday morning at work, it was as if I had done a complete 180.  My job suddenly became easier; project requirements made more sense; and no matter how close I got to deadlines this week, I always managed to get things done on time and complete.  And through one of his children, God gave me a smile this week that I’m pretty sure is present even when I’m asleep.  My world is so much brighter now than it was just 72 hours ago.  In fact, this is the happiest I’ve been in at least a month and a half.

It is important to note, though, that God will often put us to the test.  Just as he put Job’s faith on trial, we too are faced with situations that truly test our resolve and our faith in God.  In times of great despair, of extreme stress, of severe pain, we have two choices: we can direct our anger at God for putting us through such a situation, or we can trust the Lord to get us out. 

He wants to help us all; we need only to ask.

I've been sitting here tonight bored out of my mind. 

Being bored is a dangerous place for a Christian.  We are obligated to make every attempt to avoid sin, but the old saying, "idle hands are the devil's workshop," really rings quite true.  It's at those times when we lack the drive to find something to keep us occupied — the very definition of boredom — that our minds begin to drift.  And when we find ourselves in a state of despair or even depression, the effects are magnified a hundred times over.   We begin longing for some sort of stimulation or, if nothing else, a distraction.

I really don't have anywhere else to go with this post.  What you're seeing is my attempt to fill five minutes of a long, boring night.  But I figured I would use that time to raise a concern I've had for a while now about boredom.  Be careful at times of inactivity; how you choose to pass idle time should reflect your religious and moral beliefs.  Even if you're alone, there's still a witness — and He is the one we will all answer to on Judgement Day, anyway.  Or, as Paul said to the Corinthians:

"So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad."   2 Corinthians 5:9-10

I pray a lot.  Even before my recent revelation, I prayed several times a day.  Sometimes I prayed the same prayer over and over again.  Sometimes each prayer was different.  But they all had one thing in common: they were all about me.

If you're like me, your prayers probably sound something like this:

Lord, I need your help.

God, please let me have this.

Please, Jesus, give me what I need to get through this.

Those prayers are all fine and good, as long as you don't stop there.  I'm not trying to get all high and mighty on anyone, because I'm really not qualified to give much of anyone advice on Christianity at this point.  I'm re-learning a lot, but I have a long way to go.  But we forget quickly, particularly in our times of need when we pray the most, that our prayers are not about us.  Sure, we're encouraged to ask God for things we need.  And the Bible even states that the righteous will be given all they ask for.  But in order to truly be a good Christian, we need to remember the parts of prayers that we all too conveniently forget: we are to praise God every chance we get. 

Prayers are not intended to start and end with us asking God to give us something, or help us through a trying time, or show us a sign.  Prayers should begin and end by truly showing your thanks for what you've been given — and, if you truly believe the words of the Bible, we should also be thanking God for what we haven't been given.  As the saying goes, Grace is getting what we don't deserve.  Mercy is not getting what we do deserve.  Every breath you take, no matter the struggles involved, is a gift from God and we should all be thankful for that.

And even beyond thanks, we owe God eternal worship.  His name is to be praised at all times in all ways, and that especially includes times of prayer.  Prayers are your one-on-one time of worship with God.  It's a connection from Maker to sinner.

Jesus gave his disciples what is now known as the Lord's Prayer.  Think of it as a blueprint for what a good, all-encompassing prayer should sound like.  If you really feel like you aren't "good at prayer" then simply recite it verbatim.  Just make sure you understand the meaning behind the words.

Below is the text from Matthew 6:9-13, which is the original text of the prayer.  My thoughts are in italics following each verse. 

9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
God's name is above all names, and we are to recognize that there is no one above Him.

10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
One of the key aspects of Christianity is the acceptance that God's will, not our will, is what ultimately shall come to pass.  This seems to contradict the concept of free will, but perhaps I'll write more on that some day when I figure it all out myself.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.
God is our sole provider.  He will not put us into situations we cannot handle, but we must be willing to accept that all good gifts are from Him and Him alone.

12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
God will forgive our sins as long as we are sincere in our intentions to seek his forgiveness.  We must approach him with a clean heart, and that means forgiving those who have wronged us.  Asking for forgiveness with a heart that is still vengeful toward your fellow man is not pleasing to God.

13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
God will protect us from Satan's temptation and guide us along the path of righteousness.  He is ruler of all, omnipotent and worthy of all the praise we can give him.  Not only is He worth of it, He demands it of us as Christians.  It is our duty as believers to constantly reaffirm our faith in Him.

It is okay, and perfectly normal, to include personal requests in our prayers.  And God will answer them in His time and in His own way.  We just need to remember to approach him in prayer reverently and humbly, with an open heart and a desire to be closer to Him.  Then, and only then, are we praying as true Christians.

Last night I shared with God the most amazing prayer I've ever been a party to.  I won't go into the details, because that's between me and the Lord, but I will say this: no matter how awful this who situation may seem, to me or anyone else, it is, without a single doubt, the greatest moment of my life.  As I just shared with Mom of the South, I may have lost the one I love unconditionally, but found the one who loves me unconditionally.

Home is no longer a lonely place for me after Kaylee goes to bed.  I have actually found comfort in the serenity of the darkness.  There's a peace that cannot be understated and it has helped me learn that we can see God clearest in the darkest moments of our life.  There's such a definite connection between the physical darkness of the night that, until 48 hours ago, used to be gut wrenching, and the spiritual darkness that we live in when we are unwilling to repent and to be redeemed by the Grace of God.

I have moved beyond this and, while I still wish I could spend the rest of my days with Brittney by my side, I have accepted the hand I have been dealt. In closing, I'd like to share the words of a song I had always loved but had forgotten about until last night:

All the chisels I have dulled Carving idols of stone
That have crumbled like sand 'neath the waves
I've recklessly built all my dreams in the sand
Just to watch them all wash away

Through another day, another trial
Another chance to reconcile
To The One who sees past all I see
And reaching out my weary hand
I pray that You'd understand
You're the only one who's faithful to me

All the pennies I've wasted in my wishing wells I've thrown
Like stones to the sea
I've cast my lots, dropped my guard, searched aimlessly
For a faith to be faithful to me

Through another day, another trial
Another chance to reconcile
To The One who sees past all I see
And reaching out my weary hand
I pray that You'd understand
You're the only one who's faithful to me

– Faithful to Me, Jennifer Knapp (Kansas, 1998)

Today I accepted that my marriage is over, save for a miracle.  I didn't just acknowledge it; I accepted it.

Today, I brought someone back to the Lord.  Praise God.

See, life is filled with highs and lows.  And the highest of highs can sometimes happen right next to the lowest of lows.  It's strange how you can sometimes be sitting right smack in the middle of euphoric grieving.  It's a strange place to be, and a weird feeling to experience.  An, sometimes, it's exactly what you need from God for him to sustain you.

I watched the Steelers game with some neighbors.  I had a great time — friends, kids, football, food…all in all, a good way to spend a Sunday afternoon.  But eventually it started getting on toward Kaylee's bedtime, and I knew that meant returning to an empty house.  I love it here, but right now I hate it here.  So I came home. put her to bed, and despaired.  But not for long.

This morning a local friend met me for church.  She hadn't been in a long time, much like myself.  And she really felt a change as we sat there, along with most everyone who had been in the Singles class earlier in the morning.  Not only is she planning on attending regularly now, she is also hoping to get involved in some of the small groups in the church.  Again, Praise God.

This evening I received a phone call from her.  I was hurting and lonely, and it was a great time to hear from a friend.  We talked for close to an hour, and it was mostly about our faith, and how far we've both managed to come in a few short days.  It was nice to share mutual encouragement with someone and to know I'm surrounding myself with the people who will be the right kind of influence on me.

So, I've seen the top and bottom of emotion today.  Right now I'm hovering in between, and too exhausted to be concerned with moving any further toward either extreme.  Taking care of a child by yourself is hard enough in good times, let alone in trying times.  But through the Grace of our Lord, I am strengthened enough each day to survive.

First of all I want to say this: if you are expecting the same old wise-cracking humor typically found here, it will return.  Right now I am on a spiritual journey to the depths of my soul, so you're going to have to sit through some deep thoughts for a while.  But I promise you, this will be the most meaningful period of InvertedMind.  I hope you will take the journey with me, and maybe examine your own soul — and find out where you will be if Judgement falls on you tomorrow.

My favorite book of the Bible is Ecclesiastes.  I have a history of issues when it comes to coping, and I went through a period of nearly five years of depression.  I sank about as low as I could.  I never reached a point where I thought I couldn't go on with life.  But I did eventually get to where I simply didn't want to anymore.  That point began a huge turnaround in me, and during that change I spent a lot of time reading the words of Solomon. 

In fact, one of my all-time favorite songs, The Byrds' Turn! Turn! Turn!, was inspired by Ecclesiastes chapter 2.  The entire song is a near-verbatim copy of the first eight verses of the chapter, with the ordering changed slightly (for instance, the first verse of the chapter is the final line of the song's refrain).  Verse four tells us there is "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance."  This is literally the one line in the entire Bible that is most responsible for me ever making it through that period of depression. 

I am an incredibly impatient person, and this line — no matter how basic a concept that this may seem to be — drove home the notion that the hard times will eventually pass.  God has great things in store for all of us, and it's just a matter of waiting for them.  It's also a matter of recognizing them, because the good may not always seem to be good.  A perfect example is in what I wrote here Tuesday: God brought me back to the bottom rung of the ladder in order to teach me the right way to climb.  I was, and still am, completely crushed by what has been going on.  In fact, every day a new ton of despair seems to land on top of me.  But through it all, I know that I am learning the single most important lesson of my life: God should be the center of your life at all times and in all circumstances, not just during the hard times, and not just when it's convenient for you.

The life of a righteous Christian is not popular today.  Having to abstain from sex out of wedlock when you're being bombarded by the mainstream media telling you it's okay is incredibly hard.  Living next to someone who constantly seems to have better "stuff" than you do can be very trying.  And let's not even get started on not just forgiving, but loving, your enemy.  But the fact remains that we cannot call ourselves Christians if we flagrantly refuse to live by the values we claim to live by.  And I've been as guilty as anyone of every one of these crimes against Christ, aside from murdering someone.  In fact, it's often those of use who are completely hypocritical with our "beliefs" who are the worst of sinners, because we can hide behind the Word of God.  We get away with more sins, in the eyes of other people at least, because no one expects us to commit them.  But there is One who sees all we do, and in the end it is Him to whom we must ultimately answer for our actions.

What it comes down to is realizing that you can fool your fellow man, but not God.  Ecclesiastes closes with some of the most basic, yet profound words in the Bible.  It's what we are taught from an early age as Christians.  And if you're lucky, you take it to heart in time:

 (13) Now all has been heard;
       here is the conclusion of the matter:
       Fear God and keep his commandments,
       for this is the whole duty of man.

 (14) For God will bring every deed into judgment,
       including every hidden thing,
       whether it is good or evil.